Studies and surveys continue to highlight pastoral burnout as a problem. Often, pastors suffer in silence, wait too long before seeking help, burnout, or leave ministry altogether. Sometimes burnout can be avoided by following the biblical rhythms of work and rest. While self-care and vacations may help rejuvenate a worn-out reverend, some burnout contributors go overlooked.

Weak or Unenforced Boundaries

Luke 5:15–16 ESV - But now even more the report about him went abroad, and great crowds gathered to hear him and to be healed of their infirmities. But he would withdraw to desolate places and pray. 

Boundaries are critical for long-term ministry success. They define who we are, guard our time, and limit our responsibilities. Without boundaries, both we and our ministries become an unfocused mess.

One subtle aspect of burnout is our tendency to react in ways opposite of what could help. Our boundaries become more porous. We may become more isolated. We work more hours. We say “yes” to more things. Eventually. we develop a sense that we don't belong to ourselves. All of which leave us exhausted and other areas of life and ministry shortchanged.

The Emotional Rollercoaster

Gal. 1:10 - For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.

In families, some relationships and emotional needs get nurtured more than others. This process affects how we come to experience our needs for approval, assurance, and attention. If ministry becomes a primary vehicle for emotional needs - to feel worthy, seen, etc. - ministry will feel like an emotional rollercoaster.

If much of our motivation and self-worth comes from how others see us, or we need a steady diet of approval or assurance to energize us, the peaks of ministry will feel more exhilarating but the valleys will be more exhausting. Eventually, the emotional rollercoaster takes its toll. As Dr. Kathleen Smith writes, "The more you accommodate to keep people happy, the more your functioning is dependent on getting the right reaction out of people, the right amount of agreement or approval...The more we need people to respond to us in a certain way, the more likely we are to experience burnout."

Cutoff and Isolation

Eccl. 4:9–12 ESV - Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

Of all the strategies we use to manage anxiety, distancing from others might be the most popular. Whether it's relationship tension or ministry demands, isolating ourselves comes naturally. The downside? Cutting off relationships disconnects us from what could help us grow and heal in several ways.

First, distancing from others separates us from the grace of relationships. People knowing who we truly are and loving us anyway is life-giving. Second, relationships help us cope with the trials of life. As Scripture says, “Two are better than one… if they fall, one will lift up his fellow (Eccl. 4:9-11).” Third, when we isolate ourselves, we cut ourselves off from potential resources that could help us solve the problem - the wisdom of others, social connections, or just an extra set of hands.

Without genuine relationships, isolation becomes an incubator for any number of unhelpful things.

Contentious Relationships

Ex. 18:13–23 ESV - The next day Moses sat to judge the people, and the people stood around Moses from morning till evening. When Moses’ father-in-law saw all that he was doing for the people, he said, “What is this that you are doing for the people? Why do you sit alone, and all the people stand around you from morning till evening?” And Moses said to his father-in-law, “Because the people come to me to inquire of God; when they have a dispute, they come to me and I decide between one person and another, and I make them know the statutes of God and his laws.” Moses’ father-in-law said to him, “What you are doing is not good. You and the people with you will certainly wear yourselves out, for the thing is too heavy for you. You are not able to do it alone. 

Congregations are a living and dynamic thing – a system of interconnected relationships. In relationships people push and pull, jostle and shift, mingle and distance. Inevitably, like in all relationships, conflict will happen. Often, the pastor is caught in the middle, whether he knows it or not. Congregational conflict, pastoral care and counseling, staff infighting, denominational politics, your own family tensions – pastors are involved in it all. And all of it can contribute to an emotional depletion that time off won’t remedy. As Laban said to Moses, “You will certainly wear yourself out.” How we function in the midst of perpetual relationship tension will have a lot to say about whether we thrive or survive in ministry.

Overfunctioning for Others

Heb. 5:11–12 ESV - About this we have much to say, and it is hard to explain, since you have become dull of hearing. For though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you again the basic principles of the oracles of God. You need milk, not solid food...

Overfunctioning is a response to rising anxiety whereby one takes on more responsibility than is warranted. Instead of seeing what others are capable of, we solve problems for others, think for others, make decisions for others. But overfunctioning is only one side of a reciprocal relationship. The more responsible we are for others, the less responsible others will be for themselves (underfunctioning). 

This dynamic leads to a congregation becoming overly dependent on the pastor. Instead of members becoming increasingly responsible for their spiritual growth and ministry of the church, they look to the pastor to do everything. Eventually, the overfunctioning pastor becomes increasingly frustrated with the underfunctioning members. This pattern exhausts the pastor and stunts the growth of the congregation. 

Relationships: The Last Place You Look

If additional rest and longer vacations haven't curbed impending burnout, perhaps you're looking in the wrong place. All the factors mentioned above have more to do with our relationships than our workload. This explains why taking time off does little to address certain types of burnout, as our relationships remain unchanged when we return. Respecting our boundaries, recognizing emotional needs, moving toward connection, navigating tense relationships, and seeing what others are capable of are good starting points to ensure long-term success in ministry.